| 情色小发明（图示） | 671 访 问 0 投 票 举 报 |
Automated Detection of Pornographic Images（色情图片自动化检测） A method of detecting pornographic images, wherein a color reference database is prepared in LAB color space defining a plurality of colors representing relevant portions of a human body. A questionable image is selected, and sampled pixels are compared with the color reference database. Areas having a matching pixel are subjected to a texture analysis to determine if the pixel is an isolated color or if other comparable pixels surround it; a condition indicating possible skin. If an area of possible skin is found, the questionable image is classified as objectionable. A further embodiment includes preparation of a questionable image reference shape database defining objectionable shapes. An image with a detected area of possible skin is compared with the shape database, and depending on the results of the shape analysis, a predefined percentage of the images are classified for manual review. view the full patent Penile Volumetric Measuring Device（阴茎容积计量装置）  Penis size: For too long (puns are inevitable when discussing the subject), it has escaped the rigorous analysis of modern science and has been left prone to self-serving exaggeration. Thankfully, one fearless inventor has arrived to clear the field of biased pseudoscience:"Throughout history, there has been discussion and focus on the human male sex organ. Generally, having a large penis is seen as more masculine and manly than having a small penis. Well-endowed male pornography stars are looked at by many with admiration and envy due to the size of their penis." .................... view the full patent Kissing Shield Game and Method of Use Thereof （接吻保护设备及其使用方法）  The girl in the illustration hardly seems to be enjoying herself. She looks like someone just slipped her a roofie and then smacked her on the mouth with a fly-swatter. This inventor doesn't want to just sell his game, she wants to revolutionize the way we kiss. She claims his shield protects us from germs, "without sacrificing the effectiveness of the kiss." I think the French would disagree. view the full patent Condom with Inflatable Portion（可膨胀调节式避孕套）  The title and picture pretty much say it all – this rubber provides extra girth when you need it. But don't just pump, and, well, pump. A well placed squeeze can do wonders. This jimmy hat can be "repetitively inflated and deflated at desired times," much like the man's ego when he's told, "Yes, I want to sleep with you, but can we do something about that anorexic worm you call a penis?" Like all good things there is some risk involved (though this is far from the riskiest I've seen). In the heat of the moment, a forearm might spasm and this thing is going to pop like bubble wrap in a porcupine nest. Next thing, the manufacturer is getting sued for child support payments and gonorrhea salve. I shouldn't knock it until I've tried it, but personally, I can think of more enjoyable ways of getting blown. Common sense will tell you, balloons and pricks are best kept separate. view the full patent Pants with One or More Zippers on the Rear Thereof（裤后拉链）  Let's face it, we've pushed the limits of butt-cheek exposure with pants as we know them. Luckily, fashion evolves quickly. These pants have zippers carefully designed to slyly reveal one cheek at a time. Didn't Prince invent these? view the full patent Method of Shared Erotic Experience and Facilities for Same（公用半开放式群P场所）  Lock yourself in your private pod, lie back in your hopefully-sanitized hot tub, and relax to the moans of your neighbors. Is this life in poorly constructed apartment building? Nope, it's orgy-lite. Inspired by the success of Japanese "Love Hotels," which cater to the needs of twenty-somethings that still live at home, pod loving is a half-rung up the respectability ladder from peep show booths. Will the pods catch on? The inventor must share the faith of Kevin Costner's character in "Field of Dreams:" If you build it, they will come (pun intended). view the full patent Marital Aid（绑缚式阴茎延长器具）  "A retainer harness attached to the penile extension to keep said penile extension in place on the male body." view the full patent Article of Clothing with a Novel Attachment Means（内嵌式内衣）   Don't put your clothes on, put them IN! (In your anus, your vagina, whatever you've got to work with). view the full patent Method and Apparatus for Remote Physical Contact（感同身受仪！原理）---排除两地烦恼，带给你进一步滴交流体会。  This is the most important invention for long distance relationships since the devlopment of ASCII emoticons. (And it's oh, so much more exciting). Prepare to say things like the following: Baby, when your Sensor Monitor Process rubs up against my Response Actuator Process, I just about lose my mind. view the full patent Multi-Functional Massage Device（仿侦式007专用按摩棒）  Unfortuantely, the expression, "Don't chew on that pen, you don't know where it's been" is now more true than ever. 本来想把这个图示翻译成中文的，怎奈英文实在不怎么滴，只好先贴出来，有机会再请高人编辑一下。 兄弟们，转个贴不容易啊，请点红心支持我！！！ 你的支持是对兄弟我最大的鼓励！！！ |
